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Racism, or Just Ignorance? 人種差別それとも単に知らないだけ?

Sunrise at Texada Island

I live in Canada, a nation known to be one of the most culturally diverse. However, the major stream of its racial profile is white Caucasian. No doubt about that. So it is a country of European descent people wherein other races, yellow, red, brown, and black people are mixed in. In the countryside, like Powell River where I live, there are way less Asians. Unlike some areas like Vancouver or Richmond, Asians in Powell River are definitely a minority.

Several months ago, I had a lovely lunch with my new friend. She is a Caucasian in her late 60s or early 70s, an intelligent woman with a warm compassionate aura. She seems to emanate loving and caring light, and I truly admire her. So at this lunch, although I can’t remember what we were talking about, in the middle of our conversations she opened her eyes wide and said, “oh, that means….how old are you?” So I said, “67” I have no reason to hide my age. She looked genuinely surprised. “What? So you are of the same generation as I am. I had thought you were in your 40s.” It was my turn to open my eyes wide. “What? Wow… I’m so happy. You made my day!” So as you can imagine, I had a wonderful rest of the day, smiling and humming.

The next day, when I went to my usual fitness class, there was a non-regular person, an older Caucasian woman participating in the class. As soon as she saw me, she said, “are you Emily’s mother?” I was stunned. Emily is a slender Chinese-Canadian woman around my age. “What? No way!” Although pretending like it was no big deal, I was offended like crazy….with my chest burning with anger and shock.

What a change in just one day!!

Recently, I read an article about how hate and racism toward Asians are increasing. It had been boiled up by the Covid turmoil and has been persistently continuing.

After the class I said to Emily “somebody asked me if I am your mother.” Emily laughed and said, “she has probably had no Asian friends in her life. There are a lot of people like that. They merely don’t know or not interested in knowing Asian people.”

I thought Emily’s reaction was pretty cool. Yes, she is right. This is not even racism…it’s only a phenomenon coming from ignorance. It made sense to me.

I’ve read somewhere that the discrimination toward Japanese Canadians around the time of WW2 was ignited by the fear coming from ignorance of the general public about Japanese Canadian people. Ignorance is dangerous and could end up in sad situations.

So if you make friends with people from many different cultures, would the world be more peaceful?

I don’t know. It doesn’t seem that simple, does it?

My 95 year old father surrounded by his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Only missing is me!

私の住むカナダは多民族国家の最たる国。でもやはり主流はヨーロッパ系の白人。そこに色々な民族が混在しているという感じ。特にパウエルリバーのような田舎に来ると、私のようなアジア人はぐっと少なくなって、マイノリティそのものという感じになる。

数ヶ月前だったかこんなことがあったよ。新しく出来た友達といっしょにランチした時のこと。その友達は知的で優しいオーラに包まれた白人の女性、60代後半か70代前半くらい。何を話していた時か覚えてないけど、話の途中で彼女が「え?」と大きく目を見開いた。「ということは…え?…あなた何歳?」と聞いて来た。もちろん何も隠すことないから正直に「67歳よ」と答えたら「え?じゃあ私と同年代じゃないの。私はまたあなたは40代かなと思っていたわよ。」と言われて今度は私の方が「ええ?」と目を見開くことになった。「そんな…嬉しい!わあYou made my day!」と言って笑った。そしてご想像の通りご機嫌よろしく鼻歌まじりにその日1日を過ごした。

あくる日、朝のフィットネスのクラスに行ったら、いつもは見ない白人のおばさんが参加していた。私の顔を見るなり、「あなた、エミリーのお母さん?」と言ってきて私は愕然とした。エミリーは中国系のどう見ても私と同年代の華奢な女性だからだ。「とんでもない。違うよ」と言ってかわしたけど内心はショック…憮然憮然…胸が燃えてやけど状態。

昨日と今日で何という対照的な出来事!

最近、アジア人に対する人種偏見が北米で増加しているという記事を読んだ。コロナ禍で沸騰した偏見が、まだ根強く続いているという。

クラスが終わって、エミリーに「私のこと、あなたのお母さん?」て聞かれたよ」というと、エミリーは笑って、「アジア人と交わったことがない人なんじゃない?そういう人たちがけっこういるのよ。アジア人のことなんて知らないし見る目もないのよ」とクールに言う。

うん、そうだ。これは偏見以前の現象だね。なんとなく納得した。

日系カナダ人への差別も日本人がどういう民族なのか知らないことからくる恐怖が原因だったというから、知らないってことは悲しいことだと改めて思った。

いろんな人種の人たちと親しく交わるようになれればもっと平和な世の中になるのかな?

ウ~ン…そんな単純なことでもないような気がするけど…ね。


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Friendship 友情

My precious friend, Marlena, has departed from this world as of a few days ago. My previous posting was about her, when I visited her the last time. She has had a long miserable bed-bound time. Once a beautiful healthy woman, she had been reduced to skin and bones….so sad to see her becoming more and more like a withered tree. “Nothing is binding you any more, Marlena. You are now completely free”, I tell her in my heart. I can visualize Marlena with her beautiful smile, looking happy, now hand-in-hand with her beloved husband Michael. Although I am sad, missing her terribly, I feel Marlena herself might be feeling relieved and liberated.

I came to Canada at age 34, and she was one of the first persons I met. Marlena and Michael opened up their home, taught and helped us new immigrants, with English, and Canadian culture, custom, history, law, politics….everything we needed to know to live in this country. There were people from Hong Kong, Mexico, Iran, Spain and Japan in our group. We met every week, talking this and that, and becoming friends in no time. Of course, in the centre of the circle, there was always Marlena giving us wise constructive advice, laughing and weeping with us. I remember the round wooden table where we sat around in her West Vancouver home. Some people found jobs, some moved away, became sick, died….everybody moved on in the end.

I am who I am, what I am, and where I am, because of Marlena. I cannot thank her enough.

Marlena and I got together at every opportunity we could find. I remember we talked a lot about my children, immigration issues, my failing marriage and subsequent divorce. I was in my 30s and it was, perhaps, the most difficult time of my life. At the end of my 30s, I started studying at Simon Fraser University EMBA, a graduate business school held at night for working people. Marlena always supported me by taking the time to read and edit my papers before I handed them in.

Before I got married to Neil, there was a time Marlena got seriously sick. One night, Michael found her lying in bed not breathing. Her heart seemed not pumping. He rushed her to the hospital and miraculously she was resuscitated. While she was wandering in the near death state, she was dreaming. She said to me, “I was sitting, and was pushed slowly into a corridor, and suddenly, you appeared in front of me.” “You opened your arms wide and shouted, ‘you have to go back, Marlena, you still have important things to do!’”

When Marlena woke up in the hospital, she immediately told Michael about this dream, then, she phoned me. They were worried some terrible thing could have happened to me. I was so surprised to hear this strange, mysterious story from her. How could I appear in her dream when I didn’t even know she was so sick. I was shocked to realize how foolish and insensitive I was, totally occupied in my own problems, not even noticing what my precious friend was going through.

After Neil and I were married, when I was 45 years old, surprisingly, I became pregnant with a baby girl. We were so happy, looking forward to her arrival. Then, I was suddenly hit by pre-eclampsia and lost the baby at her 25th week. What a shock….we were devastated. I didn’t want to talk to anybody. I didn’t want to see anybody…. But, somehow, Marlena and Michael found out what happened, and knocked on our door. Marlena told me her sad experience of losing her baby girl before she had their three boys. How much comfort and healing their presence brought to us. I was so grateful for their tender love and care.

When Michael passed away, Marlena asked me to play organ at his funeral. I was still an inexperienced beginner organ student at the time, but I thought this would be a gift for Michael and I should do my very best to send him off with my organ playing. It turned out that this opportunity actually was a gift from Michael. The experience helped me to decide redirecting my career from business to music.

Marlena and I got together at least once a month. We enjoyed lunch at her favorite restaurants. I visited her at her home when she was not feeling well. I looked forward to our monthly get-together.

After Neil and I moved to Powell River two years ago, Marlena had a stroke and had to move to a care home. The world was in turmoil because of the raging Covid. Visiting people in care homes became almost impossible for a while. I was able to see her only three times in her final year.

Marlena, thank you so much for being my precious friend for 33 long years. I believe that friends meet for a reason. We cultivate our friendship, get to know deeply about each other and care for each other. Marlena taught me how precious friends are. She taught me that we must appreciate and treasure our friends; we must support them the best we can; and let them know how much you love them. What a profound lesson. I am so very grateful.

I was so fortunate to have you in my life. Thank you, Marlena….from bottom of my heart.

前回にも書いた私の大切な友人、マレナが亡くなった。長い長いつらい闘病生活の末、本当に骨と皮、枯れ木のような姿で最期を迎えた。『とうとう解放されたね。やっと自由になるね。』最愛のマイケルと手を取り合って幸せそうに微笑んでいるマレナの姿が目に浮かぶ。残された私は寂しいけど、悲しいけど、マレナ自身はほっとしているかもしれないと思う。

私が34才でカナダに来て、最初に出会ったのがマレナだった。いろんな国から移民が集まるカナダで、自宅を開放して、英会話や文化、慣習、歴史、法律、政治など、カナダで生活するのに必要なことを教えてくれて、手助けをしてくれたのがマレナとマイケルだった。移民のグループには、香港、メキシコ、イラン、スペイン、日本から来た人たちとか…本当にいろんな国の人々がいた。毎週顔を合わせて、様々な話をして、たちまち仲良くなって、その中心にいて話を聞いてくれて適切なアドバイスをくれて、いっしょに笑って泣いてくれたのがマレナだった。ウエストバンクーバーの家でみんなで囲んだ丸いテーブルを思い出すな。みんなそれぞれ就職したり引越したり病気になったり亡くなったり…バラバラになってしまったけど、あの日々があったからこそ今の私がある…感謝してもしきれない。

マレナと私はその後も機会を見つけては会っていろんな話をした。子育てのこと、永住権取得のこと、離婚のこと、私の人生の中でもむずかしい問題が山積みになっていた苦しい時期だった。特に私がサイモンフレーザー大学の大学院(働く人のための夜間プログラム)に入学してからは、論文だとかリサーチペーパーだとか、必ずマレナに見てもらって文法の間違いとか訂正してから提出していたな。

私がまだニールと再婚する前だったか、マレナが呼吸困難になって救急車で病院に運ばれ、心臓が止まって臨死状態になり、そのあと奇跡的に生還したことがあった。彼女が死の淵を彷徨っていたとき、突然、この私が、彼女の夢の中で腕を大きくひらいて、『戻ってマレナ!まだ大切な役目があるでしょ!』と叫んだという。目を覚ました彼女はマイケルに夢の話をして、その後すぐに私に電話してくれた。私に何かあったんじゃないかと心配してくれたのだ。その不思議な話を聞いて私は心底驚いた。ショックだった。私は自分の困難に気を取られて、マレナの病気の大変さも何も知らずにいたのだ。

ニールと再婚した後、私は突然、妊娠高血圧腎症にかかって24週目の女の子を出産して亡くしてしまった。悲しみに沈んで誰とも話したくない…誰にも会いたくない…家にこもっている時、マレナとマイケルがどこから聞いたのか、訪ねてきてくれた。マレナも3人の男の子を産む前に同じように女の子を亡くしたそうだ。2人の訪問にニールも私もどれだけ癒やされたことか…。

マイケルが亡くなった時には、傷心のマレナに頼まれて、まだ習い始めたばかりでつたない私のオルガンでマイケルを送った。それがきっかけとなって私は本格的に教会のオルガニストになる決心が出来たように思う。

必ず月に一度は会ってランチに行ったり、彼女の体調が悪くて外出できない時はお見舞いに行ったり…マレナとのデートは月1のハイライトだった。

でも残念ながら私たちがパウエルリバーに引っ越して、マレナがケアホームに移って、コロナの規制が厳しくなって、自由に会えなくなった。最後は年に2~3度くらいしか会えなかったな。

マレナ、33年間も大事な友達でいてくれて本当にありがとう。縁があって知り合った友達との絆を大切にして、誠心誠意接し続けることの素晴らしさをマレナは身を持って私に教えてくれた。感謝してもしきれないよ、マレナ。本当に本当にありがとう。


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I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

How many times did we say it this morning? M whispered ”I love you”. And I responded ”I love you”. Over and over…

Covid regulation is finally over; warm season has arrived; our hectic life in Powell River has calmed down for the moment. We are here in Lions Bay. It’s peaceful. We are taking care of our daughter’s pets while the family is visiting Japan. We went to visit M this morning at her nursing home in West Vancouver. We had not seen her for several months.

I stepped into her room, and was startled. It is certainly M who is lying down in bed. But, OMG she is half the size from before…. She has lost so much weight. “Oh” M saw me and called out and stretched her arms. I ran up to her and embraced her ‘skin and bones’ body.

The care taker person says M does not want to eat and does not drink anything. She is super dehydrated. Oh no, I thought….she must be trying to die by starving herself. She has been invalid and bed bound for many years now. It’s not unimaginable if she wished to die. However, of course, it’s not that easy to die…sadly. She has been lying in bed for years now, her hearing is almost completely gone; because of the stroke her ability to speak, read, and write is seriously compromised. She used to love watching politics on TV, but can’t any more. It’s not unreasonable if she wondered why she is still breathing.

I want M to live, have little happiness here and there….but at the same time, I don’t want her to suffer. I want her to be in peace. What a contradiction. You have suffered so much, M…you can join your beloved husband in heaven….you don’t have to suffer any more…. But, how can I say that?

Agonizing for words….I’m just repeating “I love you”, “I love you”, “I love you”

I came out her room saying…”I’ll come again, soon”, dragging my heavy heart.

I love you, M. I don’t know what else to say….but….seriously, I love you…. I love you so much.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

この言葉を何度繰り返したことか。マレナがI love youとつぶやくと私もI love youと返す。何度も何度も…。

コロナ規制がやっと終了して、寒い季節が終わって、忙しい私たちの生活が一段落して、パウエルリバーからライオンズベイの娘の家に来て、のんびりペット子守りをしている私たち。久しぶりにマレナのいるウエストヴァンクーバーの老人ホームを訪れた。

部屋に一歩踏み入れてギョッとした。ベッドに横たわっているのは、確かに私の愛するマレナ、でも痩せて半分になってる…。マレナが「おーっ」と叫んで手を延ばす。わたしも走り寄ってガリガリの骨と皮になったマレナの体を抱き寄せる。

ケアをしてくださってる看護士さんが、マレナは何も食べないし、何も飲まない、だから極度の脱水状態なの、と言う。ふとマレナは餓死自殺しようとしてるんじゃないかと思った。もう動けなくなって何年もたつから死にたいって思うのも無理ないなと思う。でもいくらそう思っても人間ってそう簡単に死ねないんだよね。何年も何年もベッドに横たわってるだけでろくに話もできないし、読み書きもできない、テレビも観れないし、耳も聴こえない。それじゃあ何のために息をしてるんだろうって思っても無理ないよね。

マレナにはいつまでも生きててほしいと願いつつ、でも苦しまないで平安でいてほしいとも願う。矛盾してるよね。ご苦労さま…もういいからマイケルの居る天国に行っていいんだよ…もうこれ以上苦しまなくていいんだよ、とも思うけど、そんなこと言えない。

悶々としながら、また来るよ、と言い残して重い心で部屋をあとにした私。

I love you, マレナ. I love you, I love you. I love you so much.


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Our Trip to New Denver, BC ブリティッシュコロンビア州ニューデンバーへの旅

Recently, we watched a program on the Knowledge Network about Japanese gardens in Canada. UBC Nitobe Garden in Vancouver, Japan Canada Yukoo Garden in Lethbridge, Alberta, and Kohan Reflection Garden in New Denver, B.C. were introduced. There were some explanations of who, how, and why these gardens were created. Histories, ideas, and some background behind these gardens were briefly mentioned.

I have to confess that although I have 32 long years of living in Canada, somehow, I never had the chance to learn or even be interested in the history of Japanese Canadians. Watching this program was an eye opening experience for me.

We had a long and beautiful summer this year. Neil and I were thinking of going somewhere on a driving trip with our two dogs before rain arrived. It would be perfect to go to New Denver to visit the garden and learn the history.

When I told our dear friend, Allen, about this idea, he said I must read Obasan by Joy Kogawa before the trip. It was indeed excellent advice!

So a sunny day in mid September, we departed our house in Powell River and started our week-long driving trip to the interior of BC.

New Denver was far. We stayed at a motel in a quiet little village called Fauquier after crossing Arrow Lake by a cable ferry.

We arrived in New Denver the next day. It is a picturesque old little town by Lake Slocan. Nikkei Internment Memorial Centre and Kohan Reflection Garden were on the other side of a river, separated from the town by a bridge.

We saw a big bear in the park near the Kohan Garden, devouring something from a garbage box.

In this quiet old town about 1,400 people live. There are some more small villages and ghost towns in this area surrounded by mountains and lakes. It was hard to believe that in the 1940’s 22,000 Japanese Canadians were squeezed in this small area.

They were all uprooted from their houses and businesses on the west coast of BC. They were first stuffed in the smelly animal sheds in Hasting Park in Vancouver for months, then brought to Slocan by train, then to New Denver area by boats. Amazingly, 75% of those people were Canadian born or naturalized Canadian citizens!! Men between ages 20s to 60s were sent to physical labor camps, forced to construct railroads or highways. Women, children, and older people were sent to these internment camps.

…..What?…. I have heard that many Chinese laborers were brought from China to work on the railroad constructions. I didn’t know Japanese Canadian men were forced to work in such construction sites as well……Many of them were fishermen or farmers. They were removed from their works, properties, and families, and shipped to work in those constructions….and they were all legal Canadians… how terrible….I didn’t know….

Their properties which they had worked so hard to earn …including tools, boats, cars, radios….were taken away, looted, and auctioned off. The government approved to sell their belongings, THEN charged them the handling fees for selling!

They could not return to their houses… ever. They were not even allowed to exist in the west coast of BC for several years even after the war.

People were allowed to take their necessities as much as they could carry by hand. They had to watch from the bus windows as their houses were looted as their buses drove away.

Apparently, discriminations towards Japanese Canadians started way before the Pearl Harbour. There were various systematic legal discriminations against them, e.g., taking away and banning their rights to obtain fishing license, not allowing them to engage in certain occupations like lawyer, medical doctor, teacher….etc. As they became successful in their fields, regulations were put on to prevent their success. The systematic discriminations were already escalating and broadening by the time Pearl Harbour happened. Pearl Harbour only provided a good reason for their removal.

They were Canadian citizens whose ancestors came from a country which happened to become an enemy…just like German Canadians or Italian Canadians. Imagine the lives of immigrants; they must work extra hard from zero in the new land, in an unknown environment, with an unfamiliar language, to build up their means of survival. And then everything they had built was taken away…just to make them suffer….just because they were Japanese descendants………..

Older people, children, and women were sent to interior BC like New Denver. They had to live through the first winter in thin canvas tents. Materials and tools to build the camp did not arrive for many months.

How did young mothers with babies live without privacy? How did sick people survive in such poor conditions?

There were voices amongst white Canadians, “Japs deserve to suffer, they should suffer to the maximum”

This is certainly not the Canada I know. How sad…

After the war was ended, Japanese Canadians were uprooted again. They were forced to make a choice of moving further east and work in places like sugar beet farms, or board ships taking them back to Japan.

For most of the Canadian born people, Japan was a foreign country. They didn’t speak the language or have anybody who could help them. Moreover, Japan was in total chaos. Many cities were bombed out heavily, people had lost their places to live, no food to eat….they themselves were struggling to survive.

Despite all that, many Japanese Canadians chose to board the ships out of deep despair. They felt there was no future, no hope for them in Canada.

After people left New Denver, the internment camp was bulldozed over to a bare field, as if nothing had happened… In 1989, the Japanese garden called Kohan (it means Lakeside) Reflection Garden was created. A young garden designer from Japan transformed this land of tears and sorrows to a beautiful garden. It is now a public space, open to everybody.

Beautiful town, beautiful park, with a sad history….

This was such a moving trip. I am still reading more books about the Japanese Canadian history. I would love to go back there again.

最近、テレビでカナダにある日本庭園を紹介する番組を観た。バンクーバーのニトベガーデンやアルバータ州レスブリッジの日加友好ガーデン、ブリティッシュコロンビア州の内陸部ニューデンバーにある湖畔ガーデンが紹介された。なぜ誰が何を想ってつくった庭園なのか…日系カナダ人の歴史についても簡単な説明があった。

私は今まで日系人の歴史については知識もなく、大して興味もなく、カナダに住んで32年にもなるというのにあまりにも無知だった。この番組に啓発されてニューデンバーに行ってみたいと思ったのだ。

折りしも夏の終わり、ちょうどドライブ旅行をしたいね、とニールと話していたところだった。

ニューデンバーに行って日系カナダ人の歴史に触れたいと友人のアランに話すと、「それは良い。行く前に絶対ジョイ・コガワの『おばさん』を読みなさい」とアドバイスしてくれた。

素晴らしい晴天の続く9月の半ば、私たち2人と2匹はパウエルリバーの我が家を出発、約1週間のドライブ旅行に繰り出した。

ニューデンバーは遠かった。アロウレークという湖にあるケーブルフェリーを降りてすぐの静かな村でまずは一泊、あくる日やっとニューデンバーにたどり着いた。スローカン湖のほとり、歴史を感じさせる古い建物が並んで絵のように美しい。日系カナダ人のメモリアル記念館は川を渡って、町の中心部とは離れたところにあった。

大きな熊が近くの公園で残飯をあさっている。

こんな平和で一見、昔から何も変わらないように見える町、現在の人口は約1400人だという。40年代にこの町と周辺の山奥の村やゴーストタウンとに合わせて22000人もの日系カナダ人が収容されたという。しかもそのうちの75%がカナダで生まれたれっきとしたカナダ人だったという。20歳から60歳くらいまでの男性は鉄道工事や道路工事などの労働に強制的に送られ、女性、子供、老人はこれら山奥の収容所に送られたそうだ。

え? 中国人の労働者が鉄道工事のために中国から連れてこられたという話は聞いていたけど、日系人も強制労働させられたんだ……全然知らなかった…

日系人たちは住み慣れた土地家屋を没収され、車やボート、ラジオなどの電化製品も取り上げられた挙げ句、政府の手でそれらを二束三文で売り飛ばされ、そのうえ売却手数料まで差し引かれて、文字通り無一文になってしまったそうだ。

自分の手で持てるだけの荷物のみを持ってくることを許されたという。

しかも戦争が終わったあとも数年にわたってブリティッシュコロンビア州に戻ることは許されず強制収用は続き、家や家業を取り戻すことは結局生涯できなかったという。

しかも、日系人に対する差別は、戦争時に始まったことではなく、その前から様々な形で表れていたそうだ。漁業、農業従事者に対してはもちろん、弁護士、医者、教師などの職業に就くことを禁じられるなど、多岐にわたったらしい。日系人がカナダで成功することを妨げる法律が次々と認定されて差別がエスカレートされていったという。そこに真珠湾攻撃が起こり、日系人を追い出す格好たる口実ができたというわけだ。

何の罪もない人たち、ただただ懸命に働いて豊かな生活を築こうとしていた人たちをここまで苦しめていたとは…ショックで言葉が出ない。

老人、子供たち、女性たちが送られたニューデンバーでは住居のキャンプが間に合わず、最初の冬は厳しい寒さの深い雪の中、薄っぺらい布テントで寝泊まりさせられたという。

「ジャップは最大限苦しめばいい」と叫ぶ声も多々あったらしい。

ショックで胸がドキドキしてくる。これは私の知っているカナダではない…

プライバシーもないに等しいところで、赤ちゃんを抱えた母親たちはどうやって過ごしていたのか。お年寄りや病人たちは厳しい寒さの中どうやって耐え抜いたのか。

戦争が終わってからも日系人たちはさらに東方の収容所に移動して砂糖大根などの農場で働くか、敗戦後の日本への船に乗船するかの選択を迫られたそうだ。多くの人々にとっては日本は見知らぬ所で知った人もいない、言葉もわからない外国、しかも日本は敗戦後の混乱で食べるものもなく焼け野原で住むところもないような状態、それでも多くの人たちが、収容所生活に絶望して日本に向かったという。

そんな日系人たちの血と涙で塗り固められた収容所の跡地にこの『湖畔ガーデン』は造られた。収容キャンプは跡形もなく撤去され、美しい日本庭園に変身して、一見何事もなかったかのように見えるニューデンバー。そこに眠る悲しい歴史。

なんだか深く感じ入るところがあって、旅の後も引き続き日系人の歴史に関する読書を続けている…

もう一度行きたいな。

今度行くときはまた違った印象を持つかもしれない。


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For Sosuke 奏佑へのメッセージ

Sosuke, Luke, and Renada

I remember the first day of school when Sosuke arrived from Japan to take Grade 2 in Canada.

He was so nervous. He barely endured the few hours of school. And he refused to go to school the next day. I generally don’t believe in “not going”, but Tomoka, his mom, let him stay home. He sat around doing nothing the whole morning. Tomoka phoned the school and talked to the teacher. The teachers and the class pupils discussed together what they could do to cheer up Sosuke and make him feel happier.

“Sosuke has just arrived from Japan. He can’t speak English. Just imagine, if you had to go to school in Japan and you don’t understand a word of Japanese, how would you feel?”

“What can each one of you do to make Sosuke feel happy and comfortable and included as one of your friends?”

That same afternoon, some children in the neighborhood came to the house. “Sosuke, let’s play!”

Sosuke’s face lightened up. He went over to the neighbor’s house and had a great time.

Apparently, it worked! It was just what he needed!

After that day, he never said he didn’t want to go to school. He played with neighbor kids after school. Sosuke was glowing.

His age, 7 years old, and his personality, gentle and authentic, contributed to making friends easily and fast. He learned to communicate without much language and still had fun.

He’s got countless stimulations from them. Scootering, bicycling, creating a basecamp, tree climbing, camping, swimming, releasing salmon babies in a creek, basketball…..I was so happy watching him challenging new things, growing more confident, and enjoying being a child.

He learned English so naturally, having fun with friends and his little cousin, Raiden. I have immense gratitude for everybody around him, including his friends, their parents, neighbours, and the wonderful teachers at the Lions Bay Elementary School. What a wonderful community.

So, what’s going to happen now? What would this one year mean to him in his life? Would he remember all these people who loved him? Would he remember English? Would he come back to Canada? I don’t know….but I know that, life is a series of meetings and farewells.

I think of Michael and Luke, his closest friends, who were crying, “why is Sosuke going back to Japan?”

Thank you for being such good friends.

Rutsu, Dustin, and Raiden, thank you for being so nice and supportive of Sosuke.

奏佑、ライオンズベイ小学校初めての日を思い出すよ。

1日目は緊張のひとこと。2日目は、学校に行きたくないと言って休む。休むのは私は反対だったんだけど、ママの知香がOKして、1日家でグダグダしてた。ママが学校に電話して奏佑のリアクションを話して、先生方が子供達と話し合いの時を持ってくれたらしい。

「奏佑は日本からきたばかりで英語ができないんだよ。みんなも日本語ができないのに日本の学校に入ったらどうする?困っちゃうよね。みんな何をしてあげれば奏佑が楽しく学校に来られるかひとりひとりが考えてみよう。みんな奏佑に優しくして仲間に入れてあげよう。」

早速その日の夕方、近所の子供達が「奏佑、遊ぼう!」と誘いに来た。奏佑、嬉しそうに近所の家に遊びに行ったよ。それからは学校もアフタースクールも楽しくて楽しくて、奏佑、輝いていた。

7歳という年齢、穏やかで素直で愛される性格もよかったのか、奏佑はあっという間に人気者になった。近所のお友達から受ける刺激が半端ない。スクーターや自転車はもちろんのこと、基地づくり、キャンプ、お誕生会、水泳、サーモンの稚魚の放流、バスケットボール、楽しそうで、伸び伸びして、子供らしくて、新しいことにどんどん挑戦して、みるみる逞しく成長して、私も嬉しかった。英語が遊びながら自然に身についたって感じ。近所のお友達や親御さんたち、ライオンズベイの学校、先生やコミュニティーに心から感謝。

さあさあこれから奏佑はどう変わるだろう。小さな3歳のライデンとよく一緒に遊んであげてた心優しい奏佑。これからもみんなに愛されて優しい人間に育っていくかな。カナダで出会った人達を覚えててくれるかな。英語を忘れてしまうかな。カナダに帰ってきたいって思うかな。思えば人生って人との出会いと別れの連続、これからも良い出会いがたくさんありますように。

「どうして奏佑は帰っちゃうの?」って泣いていた仲良しのマイケルやルーク、それにライデンのことを忘れないで優しいのびやかな思いやりのある人間に育っていってほしい。


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Messages to My Grandchildren….For Sumire すみれへのメッセージ

Surprising how time flew. A year zoomed by and my 12 year old granddaughter, Sumire, graduated from Grade 7.

A year ago, when she came from Japan and started her Grade 7 at the Gleneagles elementary school, in West Vancouver, it seemed rather impossible. She had such a big dream and so much hope, but imagine, with no English, coming from totally different culture at the age 12, it was incredibly challenging. She struggled. She felt lost, lonely, disappointed at herself. It was hard to watch that process knowing how she would be feeling, what thoughts would go through her head.

I had the same experience when I was 13. I know so well how hard it is.

I felt helpless and sad that I couldn’t really help her, no matter how much I wanted. She had to live through it herself and overcome. After all, I can’t live Sumire’s life.

‘However, my sincere congratulations to you, Sumire! You worked really hard. In only one year, you have made great friends with whom you had so much fun, in English! That is truly a great accomplishment, Sumire.’

‘I felt so proud watching you at your graduation.

After the ceremony we went to see your teacher to thank her personally. It was a deeply emotional moment for the teacher too, and tears moved to our eyes.’

‘Sumire, your hard work and your precious experience will definitely guide you through your future endeavors. You are one big step closer to your dream. Keep moving forward, and hold onto your dream.’

Sumire is returning to Japan at the end of July. She is now a different person, much stronger and more confident.

‘I’m sure there will be struggles and challenges waiting for you, remember what you have accomplished in the year. Work hard, keep smiling, and never give up.’

‘I will always support you, Sumi. Come to me when you need a big hug.’

あっという間に一年が過ぎて孫のすみれが7年生を卒業した。

12歳にして初めてカナダの小学校に編入して英語もわからず、慣れないことだらけでメチャクチャ苦労した。見ている私も想像している私も苦しかった。

私自身も13歳で同じ経験をしたから、すみれがどんな思いでいるのか分かりすぎるほど分かる。それだけに、何もしてあげられないのが歯がゆくて可哀想でつらかった。

でもね。すみれの人生を生きることができるのはすみれだけだから仕方がないね。

それにしてもよくがんばった。たった一年で仲の良いお友達もできて、きゃっきゃと楽しく遊べるようになって、英語でコミュニケーションができるようになって本当によかった。

卒業式を見ていて誇らしかったよ。式が終わって担任の先生に挨拶に行ったら先生も感無量だった。話していると私まで泣きそうになってしまった。

すみれの1年間の苦労はきっと報われる、どこかで役に立つ時がくるよ。夢を持ち続けて少しずつ少しずつ夢に向かって前進していってね。

今月末には日本に帰ってしまうすみれ、一年前のすみれよりうんと強くなってるすみれ、いろんな苦労が待ってるだろうけど乗り切ってほしい。

応援してる。いつでも何でも相談してね。Big hugs to you!


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Why? どうして?

Why?

I had been bogged down with various events, visits, errands, and couldn’t write my blog for a long time. One day in early July we finally came to our cottage on Texada Island to slow down, calm our minds, relax… I was hoping I could write something. Instead, this shocking news appeared on my phone screen….

Japan’s former prime minister, Shinzo Abe was assassinated.

Such a shocking news…. My heart sank heavily. My mind was flying all over. I couldn’t focus on anything. I couldn’t write.

I was always proud of my motherland, a super peaceful country and gentle polite people. And in such a beautiful ancient capital of Nara….? Who and why?

How could you hate anybody to the point of killing that person? Apparently there was no personal connection between the shooter and Mr. Abe… Then, why ….?

When your life is not going well do you blame it on others? Is it because of the damn society? Cunning and devious politicians? Your uncaring parents? Your family’s poor money situations? The evil religious organization that sucked your family’s money?

Why is it not your own responsibility? If you had the brain to make your homemade gun, couldn’t you use your intelligence, creativity and talents for something that could have helped to improve your life?

My thoughts and emotions are boiling up. My heart is so heavy. What a waste! The life of an influential politician and the life someone who was young and smart but headed the wrong way, had been wasted and can’t be reversed……how sad.

I read a column in the online Asahi News, and was utterly moved. My best attempt of translating its last paragraph…

“One era is gone. Nevertheless, people and cars come and go as if nothing happened. This humongous city Tokyo is still pulsing as if nothing had happened. I thought of a poem written a thousand years ago. ‘The flow of the river is incessant, yet its water is never the same.’”

どうして?

なんだか次から次へといろいろ用事ができてブログが書けなかった数週間。やっとタクセーダのコテージに来て、リラックスして、頭をひやして、何か書けるかなと思ったら、いきなり飛び込んできたニュース。

日本で安倍元首相が暗殺されたという。

何ともショッキングなニュースに胸がザワザワ、心がドロドロして気楽にブログなど書けない。

あんなに平和な日本で?しかもあんなに美しい古代都市の奈良で?平和で温和で律儀な国民、私がいつも誇りに思っている日本。誰が一体どうしてそんなことを?殺したいと思い詰めるほど人を憎むとは…なんと悲しいことだろう。

人生が上手くいかないのは不親切な社会のせい?嘘つきの政治家のせい?不誠実な親のせい?お金がないから?家族の財産を吸い取った邪悪な宗教団体のせい?

どうして自分の責任じゃないの?手製銃が作れるくらいの頭脳と創造性があるなら、それを違う方向に使って人生が上手く行くよう努力することもできたんじゃないの?

思いがドクロを巻いて心が重い。それにしても1人の政治家の人生と若い頭脳明晰な犯人の人生とが無駄に終わってしまってなんともいえず…悲しい。

オンライン朝日ニュースで読む『天声人語』の終わりの一節が心にぐさっときた。

『一つの時代が終わった。それでも何事もなかったかのように人や車が行き交い、巨大都市、東京は脈動している。ゆく河の流れは耐えずして、しかも、元の水にあらず。その一節を思う。』


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PRISMA

There was a music festival called PRISMA (Pacific Region International Summer Music Association) in my little home town, Powell River, from June 13 to 26.

To tell you honestly, I had very little expectation for the quality of music. It is after all, such a small town. Nevertheless, I bought two passes for Neil and myself and looked forward to the concerts.

I was blown away. Oh, how wrong I was!

The morning of the first day, I saw young people carrying instruments and hanging a pass from their neck at many corners of our town. ‘Oh they must be the musicians participating the festival’ I thought. I remember attending music festivals when I was younger. ‘Did I look like that?…young…nervous…hopeful…’ I wondered, with a bit of nostalgia.

Concerts by guest professional musicians, concerto competition, master classes, symphony concerts, outdoor concerts…many variety of events were planned.

This festival was founded and conducted by a Dutch conductor named Arthur Arnold who now lives in Powell River and also conducting various orchestras around the world….so I heard. He is a down-to-earth, friendly, and super charismatic leader.

The two weeks went by so fast. We very much enjoyed the six concerts. The music performed by young energetic musicians was refreshing, powerful, and beautiful.

On the final day, at the final concert, the MC person thanked the musicians. “There are many music festivals in the world. Thank you so much for choosing this festival at this little Canadian town of Powell River. Thank you for coming all the way from 21 countries all over the world to this little town, two ferries away from Vancouver. Thank you for bringing your wonderful music and talent to the people in Powell River.” ….I was so moved. It brought tears to my eyes.

Many volunteers and many audiences, the whole town welcomed and supported this festival.

Listening to the beautiful violin of Scheherazade by Rimsky-Korsakov at the final concert, I couldn’t stop my tears.

Music is amazing. It’s so wonderful to share the love and joy of music.

6月13日から26日まで私の住む町パウエルリバーでPRISMAという音楽祭があった。(Pacific Region International Summer Music Association)

こんな小さな街の音楽祭なんて大したことはないだろうとたかをくくり、あまり期待もせず、でも二人分のパスだけは買ってコンサートにでかけた私。

いやはや、とんでもない大間違いだった。

13日の当日の朝、いつものようにフィットネスに出かけると町のあちこちで楽器を持ってパスを首からぶら下げた若者たちを目にした。ああ音楽祭に来ている若者たちだな。私も昔、音楽祭によく行ったけど、あんなふうだったのかな?…若くて緊張と希望の入り混じったの面持ちで…とちょっと懐かしく思ったりした。

ゲストのプロの音楽家のコンサートがあったり、若者たちのコンチェルトのコンクールがあったり、マスタークラスやシンフォニーのコンサートがあったり、野外コンサートがあったり、ともかく盛り沢山。

なんと世界21か国から若い音大生が参加しているという。

パウエルリバーに住む、オランダから移住したアーサー・アーノルドという指揮者が中心になって築き上げた音楽祭だそうだ。気さくで楽しくて面白い指揮者で、とても上手に若者たちの心を掴むカリスマ的リーダーのようだ。

あっという間に2週間が過ぎて6回のコンサートを堪能して音楽祭が終わった。若者たちのフレッシュでエネルギー溢れる音楽が毎回素晴らしい。

最後のコンサートの時に司会者が、「世界には多くの音楽祭があるのに、フェリーを2回も乗り継いで、カナダのこんな小さな町の音楽祭に、世界中の21ヵ国から来てくれて本当にありがとう。みんなの素晴らしい音楽を楽しませてくれて本当にありがとう。」と挨拶したのを聞いて、なんだか私まで痛く感動してしまった。胸がきゅーんとなった。

大勢のボランティアに支えられて、大勢の観客が来てくれて、町中が歓迎して、過ぎた2週間だった。最後のコンサートでリムスキーコルサコフのシエラザードの美しいバイオリンを聴きながら涙ボロボロになってしまった。

音楽は素晴らしい。みんなで一緒になって感動を共にするって本当に素晴らしい。心からそう思った。


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The most important now 今一番大切なこと。

On the ferry, 3, 7, 12 year old
Inquisitive 9 month old

My two daughters and four grandchildren (ages 12, 7, 3, and 9 months) were here visiting us in Powell River for the spring break. They went back home a few days ago.

All day long, our house was filled with voices of children playing, fighting, crying, shouting, and sounds of toys running, wooden blocks falling, piano pounding….and more and more. The noise was incredible.

After the bye bye chorus, our house suddenly sunk into silence. It felt a bit odd, a bit lonely, a bit sad, a bit happy, a lot relieved…kind of mixed feeling. “Oi vay…” might be the most honest expression.

I, myself, visited my parents with my three young children for a minimum of a few days to a maximum of several weeks. My parents at the time were about my current age. I wonder ..….did my mother feel like how I am feeling now? They used to take us out often to this and that restaurants for dinner. When I think of it, was it an attempt to give my mother some break from caring for such a big family? It must have been really hard for her. She must have had, just like I’m having now, back pains, and dimming eye sights…there are certainly a lot of physical imperfections manifesting at this age.

I had not seen my daughters for six months. When they arrived at the door, I noticed right away that their energy levels were low. Big letters “S T R E S S were written on their faces. They must be standing at the edge, carrying heavy burdens, I thought.

My older daughter has turned 40. It’s the age one’s body starts to go downhill. She is based in Japan, but is living in Canada for one year in order to let her children of 12 and 7 years old experience lives in Canada. All kinds of worries related to schools and language, having to live in inconvenient Lions Bay without being able to drive, having to keep peace with her little sister and the family….must be giving her so much stress.

My younger daughter is 35 and she also has a hard life. She is responsible for a big mortgage, raising two little children, and she has just returned to her work from maternity leave. Her three year old boy is very cute but a big handful. He is at a stage of loud “no!” for everything. Her nine month old girl is like an angel, but her curiosity has no end. She crawls everywhere, puts everything in her mouth. She is almost walking, too. I was amazed to hear that a full time daycare costs $1,900 per child per month!! That explains why I see many grandparents at parks taking care of little ones. If daycare costs that much, what can you do when young parents have/want to work? Something is terribly wrong. You cannot afford anything if you don’t work….don’t daycares exist in order to provide decent care to children so that parents can work? …children are the future of our society, aren’t they? People work, pay taxes, and that becomes the basis of governments and societies managing to function….right? Something is terribly wrong.

I am seriously worried about my daughters’ well being. They have big responsibilities for the wellness and happiness of their children. They have long years to go. I pray that they can stay healthy.

Please, my sons-in-law, take good care of your families. Think, what is the most important, most precious, in your life now, and make that your priority. Together with your wife, create a happy family. Rather than living for your own accomplishments, please take care of each other, and live for today❣️

春休みで遊びに来ていた娘たち2人と孫たち4人(12歳、7歳、3歳、9ヶ月)が、数日前、元気に帰っていった。

子供たちの遊ぶ声、喧嘩する声、赤ちゃんの泣き声、叫び声、オモチャや積み木が崩れ落ちる音、ピアノをバンバン叩く音…などなどが一日中鳴り響いてそれはそれはにぎやかだった。

バイバイの合唱のあと急にし〜んと静まりかえった我が家。寂しいような、ちょっぴり悲しいような、ちょっぴり嬉しいような、ほーっとため息が出るような、複雑な心境。『やれやれ…疲れたなぁ…』というのが正直な気持ちかも。

しかし、私もさんざん子供3人を連れて実家に行って数日間から数週間も滞在したものだけど、当時今の私くらいの年齢だった両親も、同じような気持ちでいたのかなあ。夕飯はほぼ毎日のように中華だのファミリーレストランだのに食べに連れていってくれたけど、あれは大勢の食事の支度の大変さを回避するためだったのかもしれないなと今になると思う。母も大変だったんだろうなあ。今の私と同じように腰が痛かったり目がかすんだり…65歳を過ぎると急に色々故障が出てくるものだから。私の場合はまだフィットネスだのヨガだの水泳だので動いているからマシなのかもしれないけど、母は運動が苦手だったものなあ。

半年も会っていなかった娘たちだけど、今回顔を見てすぐに「あれ?」と思った。2人とも大きな文字で『ストレス』と書いてあるような顔をしていた。これは2人とも精神的にかなりギリギリの生活をしているなと思った。

上の娘は40歳でそろそろ体が下り坂に向かうとき。日本に住んでいるんだけど、12歳と7歳の子供たちにカナダ生活を体験させるために1年間の予定で来ている。子供たちの学校や英語の心配や、慣れないライオンズベイでの生活、妹家族との同居も気をつかって大変なんだろうな。

妹の方は35歳で家のローンをかかえ、ものすごく可愛いけどやんちゃで乱暴で何を言っても「ノー‼️」の大声が返ってくる3歳児と、ニコニコ天使のようだけどそろそろ歩き始めそうで目の離せない9ヶ月の赤ちゃんの面倒を見ながら、産休がそろそろ終わりに近づき、責任あるポストの仕事に復帰し始めている。昨今は保育園って何と、月額ひとりあたり1900ドルもするそうな。公園に行くと年老いたおばあさんが子供達を遊ばせているのをよく見かけるけど、保育園がこれだけ高いとお爺さんお婆さんに頼らざるをえない事情もわかるような気がする。だけど、どこか、何か、おかしくない?若い夫婦が子育てをしながら安心して働けるように保育園があるんじゃないの?そうして働いて税金を払うことで国が成り立っているんじゃないの?

重いストレスを抱えた娘たちの身体的、精神的な健康が心から心配。これから子供達を育て上げていかなければならない身、どうか病気になったりしませんように…切に祈っている。

娘婿さんたちにお願いがあります。どうか家庭を大切にしてね。自分のことよりも、家族の健康と幸せを第一に考えて、2人で協力しあって幸せな家庭を築いてください。『今現在』一番大切なのは『過去の栄誉』でも『未来の栄光』でもなく、自分の分身である子供たち、そしてかけがえのない『家族』であることをお互い忘れないでね。❣️


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Don’t Look Up ドント・ルック・アップ 

 

Beautiful planet earth
My beloved family in Hawaii
My beloved family in Lions Bay
My beloved family in Japan
Raiden and Tora 🥰

Recently, I watched the movie that everybody is talking about, “Don’t Look Up” at our friend’s home here in Powell River.

A girl who is a PhD candidate discovered a comet which is rapidly approaching planet earth, and calculated that there is a high probability of colliding with earth in approximately 6 months time.

The story was utterly and depressingly realistic. In fact, I have heard that dinosaurs went extinct because of collision of a comet, which created the Ice Age by a huge volume of ash covering the earth blocking the Sun for a long time. How can you be sure it could never happen again? The PhD student and her professor reported this news to the world, and people’s reactions, when they heard this, were amazing. Most of them didn’t believe it. They didn’t take it seriously and laughed. Some business people used the story to make money. Some politicians used the story for their own political gains. Most people just did nothing….even when it became clear that this was truly going to happen. People are unbelievably short sighted and self centered….so depressing and sickening.

I have a tendency to take things on a personal level. My thinking somehow doesn’t easily engage in the direction of social justice or political reformation when I watch movies, dramas, or read novels. I’d rather take the story personally, and think in relation to myself and my life. This movie was not an exception. I started thinking seriously what I would do if I got to know that every being on the earth go extinct in 6 months. I will die, and everybody dies, and everything will be destroyed in 6 months.

Since I don’t have any social status anyway, I wouldn’t be caring what people would think of me. Since everybody dies in 6 months and there will be no life anyway, what would be the use of having money? If I die in 6 months, my health wouldn’t mean much, as long as I would keep myself reasonably healthy for 6 months….might as well eat everything I love as much as I want, do/get everything I want as much as I want….

Wait…. but there are 6 months. I’m not dying right now. Maybe I can spend my money on making my loved ones happy….? I would fly to Hawaii, Lions Bay, and Japan to hold my children, grandchildren, and my dad and my sister as tight as I can…? I would fly to Japan and invite all my family to stay just one last night in a heavenly beautiful hot spring inn…? I would write letters after letters like crazy, letting people know how much I appreciate them, how much I love them…? I would definitely treasure and mindfully live every moment I would be with Neil and our dogs.

As I’m writing this, I have noticed something so stunningly disturbing. I am just as self centered as everybody in the movie. I am thinking of my own beloved family and friends, treasuring my own beloved life and time…..what about all the people who are not directly connected to me and to my life?

It made me re-realize how wonderful my friend “A” is, tirelessly working and actually doing things to improve lives of people who are living in poverty, and “H” who is actually doing so much to bring awareness to people and lobbying to protect vulnerable lives of animals.

つい最近、ここパウエルリバーの友人宅で、今話題になっているドント・ルック・アップ Don’t Look Up という映画を観た。

この物語は、博士号を取得するために勉強中のある女学生が、地球に接近中の彗星を発見して、複雑な計算の結果、約半年後に地球に衝突する可能性が強いことを人類に知らせようとする話。すごく現実的で、実にあり得る話だと思った。実際に恐竜が全滅したのも、彗星が地球に衝突したのが原因で、太陽の熱が厚い灰に遮られて氷河期に突入したからだと聞いたことがある。突然そんな彗星が現れても不思議ではないよね。でもその話を聞いた人間たちの反応がすごい。ほとんどの人たちが信じない。相手にしない。笑いとばす。その話を利用してお金儲けを企んだり、政治的に利用しようとしたり。信じられないほど短絡的で自己中心的。気分が悪くなるほど絶望的だった。

私は映画にしてもドラマにしても小説にしても、なぜかいつも社会的な見方をしないで、私的というか個人的な見方をしてしまう傾向にあるんだけど、今回もそう。地球が6ヶ月後に全滅するって知ったら、私だったらどうするだろうって真剣に考えてしまった。

どうせもともと何の地位もない私だから、今さら自分がどう思われようと関係ないし、6ヶ月後に全滅するんだったらお金なんてあったって仕方がない。6ヶ月後に何もかもなくなるなら健康的に生きても仕方がない? 好きなものをたらふく食べて、好きなものを買って、好きなことをして…

でも待てよ… 今すぐではなく6ヶ月あるんだから、私にとって一番大切な家族たちや友人たちが、最も幸せな6ヶ月を過ごせるようにお金を使うかな?日本に飛んで父や妹や甥姪を抱きしめる、ハワイとライオンズベイにとんで娘、息子、孫たちをかたくかたく抱きしめる… 家族みんなを日本に呼んで素晴らしい温泉宿で思い出に残る一晩を過ごす… 大事な人たちに手紙を書きまくる…感謝の気持ちを伝える…いかに愛しているかを伝える。ニールと犬たちと過ごす大切な大切な時間を噛み締める。

ここまで書いて、はたと思った。結局私も自分中心なことばかり考えているんじゃないか。映画の中の人たちと何も変わらないのではないか。自分にとって大切な人、大切なことばかりを考えて… 自分とつながりのない人や動物はどうするの?

改めて、貧困を改善する社会的な運動に一生懸命尽くしている友人「A」を始め、動物を守る運動をする友人「H」、素晴らしい尊敬すべき友人がまわりにいることに感謝した。見習わなければいけないと思った。