Several days ago, I was looking at my monthly magazine which I subscribe from Japan. Suddenly, the name and photo of the author of an article jumped at me. I gasped. It was Ms. K. I knew her from my piano era. This is a top class magazine, something equivalent to “The Economist” or “Maclean’s” here. She wrote an article? Wow….!
I could say that Ms. K was in many ways my rival when we were students. We were both about the same age. We didn’t go to same school, but both majored in piano performance. We studied with the same piano teacher. We always met and participated at various concerts and master classes. She was a beautiful woman, tall and slender, and performed with such crystal, sensitive, and sophisticated tones.
I had a boyfriend then. We were serious about our relationship. Mr. T and I were getting married after I graduated from the music college. My graduation was coming soon and I went to see my father who was working in Indonesia.
When I came back from the 10 day trip, Ms. K phoned. She said that while I was away, she got a call from Mr. T and they had been seeing each other. They had even became intimate. When I asked about it to Mr. T, he admitted that was true, but he didn’t want to lose me or her.
Can you imagine how I felt that time?
Am I hearing somebody’s voice saying “no big deal that happens all the time….”?
It was a terrible shock for me.
So, I declared that I was ending the relationship with him; I stopped answering his phone calls; I took back everything he gave me to his house; and I completely shut him down from my life.
I was in a total mess. I couldn’t keep my tears stopped. I was literally crying all the time.
On contrary, Ms. K was amazing. Regardless of what happened, she continued seeing him and had a big fancy wedding with Mr. T the year after. She said to me that she was marrying him not for love but for revenge. And she meant it. About 6 months after the wedding, she left Japan to study piano in Germany, leaving him behind. Then, she divorced him, and remarried a German man.
After that I never heard any rumor about her or him. I got busy with my own life raising children….moving to Canada….I never thought of Ms. K or Mr. T. They were totally forgotten.
40+years later, when I went to Japan last year, I saw Mr. T’s name in a bookstore. He published a book and it has become a bestseller! According to his book he had a successful career and had been the Vice President of the huge famous beer company in Japan when he retired. His book was about how he turned the losing business around to a winning business.
I googled Ms. K. Amazingly, she has been active as a writer as well, publishing a number of books and articles. She still lives in Germany, but comes to Japan often to give presentations, sit in panel discussions, and even has a lecturer position in an university. Apparently she is a celebrity in Japan! Ummmm…. wow….. I didn’t know that…. After all, she is so beautiful and such a smart person. As she had proven herself to me, she is a person who can think outside the box. It really sounds like her….doesn’t it? I was impressed.
So, why am I telling you this story?
I want to say that life can be interesting, adventurous, and so incredibly unpredictable.
Ms. K and I experienced the same drama 40+ years ago. We were both shocked and devastated. And each of us reacted completely differently. Of course, we have different personalities, different ways of feeling and handling situations. Subsequently we did walk on completely different journeys thereafter.
However, we had one thing in common. We both did not hide. We dealt with the disaster right away in our own ways. We cried hard, but kept on walking our lives…..
And I think that is important. If you hide and withdraw, your life stops at that point. You are just stumping at the same spot, then soon negativity sets in, become more and more bitter. And….nothing changes. Nothing develops. No progress.
But…. you know what?
You are aging every minute. Soon, your self esteem goes down the drain, and a chunk of your life would be wasted.
Be brave! It doesn’t matter how small a step can be, just put your foot forward!