My precious friend, Marlena, has departed from this world as of a few days ago. My previous posting was about her, when I visited her the last time. She has had a long miserable bed-bound time. Once a beautiful healthy woman, she had been reduced to skin and bones….so sad to see her becoming more and more like a withered tree. “Nothing is binding you any more, Marlena. You are now completely free”, I tell her in my heart. I can visualize Marlena with her beautiful smile, looking happy, now hand-in-hand with her beloved husband Michael. Although I am sad, missing her terribly, I feel Marlena herself might be feeling relieved and liberated.

I came to Canada at age 34, and she was one of the first persons I met. Marlena and Michael opened up their home, taught and helped us new immigrants, with English, and Canadian culture, custom, history, law, politics….everything we needed to know to live in this country. There were people from Hong Kong, Mexico, Iran, Spain and Japan in our group. We met every week, talking this and that, and becoming friends in no time. Of course, in the centre of the circle, there was always Marlena giving us wise constructive advice, laughing and weeping with us. I remember the round wooden table where we sat around in her West Vancouver home. Some people found jobs, some moved away, became sick, died….everybody moved on in the end.

I am who I am, what I am, and where I am, because of Marlena. I cannot thank her enough.

Marlena and I got together at every opportunity we could find. I remember we talked a lot about my children, immigration issues, my failing marriage and subsequent divorce. I was in my 30s and it was, perhaps, the most difficult time of my life. At the end of my 30s, I started studying at Simon Fraser University EMBA, a graduate business school held at night for working people. Marlena always supported me by taking the time to read and edit my papers before I handed them in.

Before I got married to Neil, there was a time Marlena got seriously sick. One night, Michael found her lying in bed not breathing. Her heart seemed not pumping. He rushed her to the hospital and miraculously she was resuscitated. While she was wandering in the near death state, she was dreaming. She said to me, “I was sitting, and was pushed slowly into a corridor, and suddenly, you appeared in front of me.” “You opened your arms wide and shouted, ‘you have to go back, Marlena, you still have important things to do!’”

When Marlena woke up in the hospital, she immediately told Michael about this dream, then, she phoned me. They were worried some terrible thing could have happened to me. I was so surprised to hear this strange, mysterious story from her. How could I appear in her dream when I didn’t even know she was so sick. I was shocked to realize how foolish and insensitive I was, totally occupied in my own problems, not even noticing what my precious friend was going through.

After Neil and I were married, when I was 45 years old, surprisingly, I became pregnant with a baby girl. We were so happy, looking forward to her arrival. Then, I was suddenly hit by pre-eclampsia and lost the baby at her 25th week. What a shock….we were devastated. I didn’t want to talk to anybody. I didn’t want to see anybody…. But, somehow, Marlena and Michael found out what happened, and knocked on our door. Marlena told me her sad experience of losing her baby girl before she had their three boys. How much comfort and healing their presence brought to us. I was so grateful for their tender love and care.

When Michael passed away, Marlena asked me to play organ at his funeral. I was still an inexperienced beginner organ student at the time, but I thought this would be a gift for Michael and I should do my very best to send him off with my organ playing. It turned out that this opportunity actually was a gift from Michael. The experience helped me to decide redirecting my career from business to music.

Marlena and I got together at least once a month. We enjoyed lunch at her favorite restaurants. I visited her at her home when she was not feeling well. I looked forward to our monthly get-together.

After Neil and I moved to Powell River two years ago, Marlena had a stroke and had to move to a care home. The world was in turmoil because of the raging Covid. Visiting people in care homes became almost impossible for a while. I was able to see her only three times in her final year.

Marlena, thank you so much for being my precious friend for 33 long years. I believe that friends meet for a reason. We cultivate our friendship, get to know deeply about each other and care for each other. Marlena taught me how precious friends are. She taught me that we must appreciate and treasure our friends; we must support them the best we can; and let them know how much you love them. What a profound lesson. I am so very grateful.

I was so fortunate to have you in my life. Thank you, Marlena….from bottom of my heart.

前回にも書いた私の大切な友人、マレナが亡くなった。長い長いつらい闘病生活の末、本当に骨と皮、枯れ木のような姿で最期を迎えた。『とうとう解放されたね。やっと自由になるね。』最愛のマイケルと手を取り合って幸せそうに微笑んでいるマレナの姿が目に浮かぶ。残された私は寂しいけど、悲しいけど、マレナ自身はほっとしているかもしれないと思う。

私が34才でカナダに来て、最初に出会ったのがマレナだった。いろんな国から移民が集まるカナダで、自宅を開放して、英会話や文化、慣習、歴史、法律、政治など、カナダで生活するのに必要なことを教えてくれて、手助けをしてくれたのがマレナとマイケルだった。移民のグループには、香港、メキシコ、イラン、スペイン、日本から来た人たちとか…本当にいろんな国の人々がいた。毎週顔を合わせて、様々な話をして、たちまち仲良くなって、その中心にいて話を聞いてくれて適切なアドバイスをくれて、いっしょに笑って泣いてくれたのがマレナだった。ウエストバンクーバーの家でみんなで囲んだ丸いテーブルを思い出すな。みんなそれぞれ就職したり引越したり病気になったり亡くなったり…バラバラになってしまったけど、あの日々があったからこそ今の私がある…感謝してもしきれない。

マレナと私はその後も機会を見つけては会っていろんな話をした。子育てのこと、永住権取得のこと、離婚のこと、私の人生の中でもむずかしい問題が山積みになっていた苦しい時期だった。特に私がサイモンフレーザー大学の大学院(働く人のための夜間プログラム)に入学してからは、論文だとかリサーチペーパーだとか、必ずマレナに見てもらって文法の間違いとか訂正してから提出していたな。

私がまだニールと再婚する前だったか、マレナが呼吸困難になって救急車で病院に運ばれ、心臓が止まって臨死状態になり、そのあと奇跡的に生還したことがあった。彼女が死の淵を彷徨っていたとき、突然、この私が、彼女の夢の中で腕を大きくひらいて、『戻ってマレナ！まだ大切な役目があるでしょ！』と叫んだという。目を覚ました彼女はマイケルに夢の話をして、その後すぐに私に電話してくれた。私に何かあったんじゃないかと心配してくれたのだ。その不思議な話を聞いて私は心底驚いた。ショックだった。私は自分の困難に気を取られて、マレナの病気の大変さも何も知らずにいたのだ。

ニールと再婚した後、私は突然、妊娠高血圧腎症にかかって24週目の女の子を出産して亡くしてしまった。悲しみに沈んで誰とも話したくない…誰にも会いたくない…家にこもっている時、マレナとマイケルがどこから聞いたのか、訪ねてきてくれた。マレナも3人の男の子を産む前に同じように女の子を亡くしたそうだ。2人の訪問にニールも私もどれだけ癒やされたことか…。

マイケルが亡くなった時には、傷心のマレナに頼まれて、まだ習い始めたばかりでつたない私のオルガンでマイケルを送った。それがきっかけとなって私は本格的に教会のオルガニストになる決心が出来たように思う。

必ず月に一度は会ってランチに行ったり、彼女の体調が悪くて外出できない時はお見舞いに行ったり…マレナとのデートは月1のハイライトだった。

でも残念ながら私たちがパウエルリバーに引っ越して、マレナがケアホームに移って、コロナの規制が厳しくなって、自由に会えなくなった。最後は年に2～3度くらいしか会えなかったな。

マレナ、33年間も大事な友達でいてくれて本当にありがとう。縁があって知り合った友達との絆を大切にして、誠心誠意接し続けることの素晴らしさをマレナは身を持って私に教えてくれた。感謝してもしきれないよ、マレナ。本当に本当にありがとう。