Why?

I had been bogged down with various events, visits, errands, and couldn’t write my blog for a long time. One day in early July we finally came to our cottage on Texada Island to slow down, calm our minds, relax… I was hoping I could write something. Instead, this shocking news appeared on my phone screen….

Japan’s former prime minister, Shinzo Abe was assassinated.

Such a shocking news…. My heart sank heavily. My mind was flying all over. I couldn’t focus on anything. I couldn’t write.

I was always proud of my motherland, a super peaceful country and gentle polite people. And in such a beautiful ancient capital of Nara….? Who and why?

How could you hate anybody to the point of killing that person? Apparently there was no personal connection between the shooter and Mr. Abe… Then, why ….?

When your life is not going well do you blame it on others? Is it because of the damn society? Cunning and devious politicians? Your uncaring parents? Your family’s poor money situations? The evil religious organization that sucked your family’s money?

Why is it not your own responsibility? If you had the brain to make your homemade gun, couldn’t you use your intelligence, creativity and talents for something that could have helped to improve your life?

My thoughts and emotions are boiling up. My heart is so heavy. What a waste! The life of an influential politician and the life someone who was young and smart but headed the wrong way, had been wasted and can’t be reversed……how sad.

I read a column in the online Asahi News, and was utterly moved. My best attempt of translating its last paragraph…

“One era is gone. Nevertheless, people and cars come and go as if nothing happened. This humongous city Tokyo is still pulsing as if nothing had happened. I thought of a poem written a thousand years ago. ‘The flow of the river is incessant, yet its water is never the same.’”

どうして？

なんだか次から次へといろいろ用事ができてブログが書けなかった数週間。やっとタクセーダのコテージに来て、リラックスして、頭をひやして、何か書けるかなと思ったら、いきなり飛び込んできたニュース。

日本で安倍元首相が暗殺されたという。

何ともショッキングなニュースに胸がザワザワ、心がドロドロして気楽にブログなど書けない。

あんなに平和な日本で？しかもあんなに美しい古代都市の奈良で？平和で温和で律儀な国民、私がいつも誇りに思っている日本。誰が一体どうしてそんなことを？殺したいと思い詰めるほど人を憎むとは…なんと悲しいことだろう。

人生が上手くいかないのは不親切な社会のせい？嘘つきの政治家のせい？不誠実な親のせい？お金がないから？家族の財産を吸い取った邪悪な宗教団体のせい？

どうして自分の責任じゃないの？手製銃が作れるくらいの頭脳と創造性があるなら、それを違う方向に使って人生が上手く行くよう努力することもできたんじゃないの？

思いがドクロを巻いて心が重い。それにしても1人の政治家の人生と若い頭脳明晰な犯人の人生とが無駄に終わってしまってなんともいえず…悲しい。

オンライン朝日ニュースで読む『天声人語』の終わりの一節が心にぐさっときた。

『一つの時代が終わった。それでも何事もなかったかのように人や車が行き交い、巨大都市、東京は脈動している。ゆく河の流れは耐えずして、しかも、元の水にあらず。その一節を思う。』