pocoapocowithsmile

Unexpected  予期しなかったこと

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It was unexpected.

A week into our stay on Texada Island, when we were enjoying our freedom and peace, it suddenly happened.  Well, actually, when I think of it, there was some weird uneasiness that afternoon….

Neil and I set out to walk Kafka (a biggish mutt dog) and Taitai (a pug).  Somehow, Taitai was reluctant to walk.  We thought he might have sore leg or something; we decided to walk back to our cottage and put the dogs in the car.  We might as well drive to Blubber Bay where our old Kuma used to love to go.  When we got to the intersection, we changed our mind.  We needed to stop at the grocery store anyway, so why not go to Gillies Bay.

We parked the car at the Gillies Bay beach, and the dogs jumped out of the car.  Before  we knew, Kafka sprinted away, dashing off at an enormous speed.  He found a deer.

Kafka became a fireball.  Neil shouts, “Kafka, NOOOO! ! Come back! ! Kafka, come back!!” He can’t hear.  He is not the Kafka we know.  He is a mass of instinct, a glistened instinct. The deer has nowhere to run or hide.  It runs to the ocean.  Kafka follows.  Oh….the deer is still young….  It really has no chance.  Although Kafka is eight, he is very fit, he is full of energy.  He is an excellent sprinter.  Out of desperation, the deer jumps into the water.  Kafka follows and jumps.  Kafka is not a good swimmer, but trying is his best.  Taitai follows.  The deer swims further out in the water.  I ran on the sand toward the water calling Kafka.  He heard me, and looked back.  Thank God he came back.  Neil grabbed him by his chest and threw him into the car.  Taitai is still swimming.  I can see the deer’s head popping out the waves.  I ran back to the water and called Taitai. We threw him into the car.

An old man who lives nearby was watching the whole thing.  He said that this particular deer had been wandering around for some time now. It looked like it had some mental challenge and was abandoned by its mother.  It was all alone, he said. “Poor thing, but what can we do….,“ said he, and dropped his shoulder.

We were struck with shock, both Neil and I could not voice a word.  In the water I couldn’t see its head any more.  Please live….please swim….please don’t drawn…..I kept staring at the water praying.  The water was still.

It was an innocent life.  There was no reason to die.  It only happened to be there when we arrived.  That was the only reason it had to be chased and die.  We should have never changed our mind, if we had gone to Blubber Bay, the poor deer would have been enjoying the peaceful afternoon.  Oh… I’m sorry, little deer.  I wanted to cry.

Life is so unfair.  Every birth is miracle.  All life is precious.  Why did the fawn’s own mother abandon this poor deer?  Just because it was disabled…..  Why did it have to be left alone, and chased by a dog like Kafka who is neither daring nor hungry, who has never experienced any hardship in his life.  Poor deer, you must have been so scared.

I’m so sorry….

 

タクセーダ島に来て自由と平和を満喫して一週間が過ぎた日、予期しなかったことが起こった。何となく胸騒ぎというか予兆のようなものがあったんだ。今日に限ってなんだか変だった。

ニールとカフカ(雑種の中型犬)とタイタイ(パグ)とで散歩に出たら珍しくタイタイが思うように歩かない。具合でも悪いのかと思って家に引き返し車に乗せた。車でクマが大好きだったブラバーベイまで行こうか、と言いながら出発。でもどうせ食料品を買いに行かなければならないからと、交差点に差し掛かったときに気が変わり、方角を変えてギリーズベイのビーチ沿いを歩くことにした。

ビーチについて車を止め、犬たちを降ろした瞬間、カフカが猛スピードで走り出した。鹿を見つけたのだ。

カフカは完璧に興奮しまくっている。ニールが大声で怒鳴る。「カフカ、やめろ、戻ってこい!カフカ!戻れ!」興奮の絶頂にいるカフカには聞こえない。もうこうなるとカフカではない。ギラギラの「本能」だ。鹿が逃げ場を失って海に向かって走り出した。カフカが追う。まだ小さい子鹿、斑点がないから若鹿か。どう見ても鹿には勝ち目はない。カフカは8歳とはいえ、エネルギーに溢れ足も速い。鹿が海に飛び込んだ。カフカが追う。カフカは泳ぎが得意ではない。でも懸命に鹿を追う。タイタイも続く。鹿がさらに沖合に泳ぐ。私は浜辺を走ってカフカを呼ぶ。ふとカフカが我に返って私を振り向き、戻ってくる。ニールがカフカの胸ぐらを掴んで連れもどし車に放り込む。タイタイはしつこく泳ぎ続けている。鹿の頭が波間に浮かんでまだ泳ぎ続けているのがわかる。私はまた浜辺を駆け戻って今度はタイタイを呼ぶ。戻ってきたタイタイを車の中に放り込む。

近所に住むおじさんがそんな私たちの様子を見つめていた。聞くとその子鹿はしばらくこの浜辺をウロウロしていたという。何か障害のある子鹿のようでどうも母鹿からも見放されたようだという。一人ぼっちでさまよっていたという。かわいそうだけど仕方がないと肩を落としていた。

ニールも私もショックで声も出ない。海に目を戻すと鹿の頭が見えない。一生懸命祈るように目をこらすけど、見えない。溺れてしまったのだろうか。どこかに逃げ込めたのだろうか。でも逃げ込める場所なんてないから溺れてしまったとしか思えない。

死んでしまったんだ。。。。何の罪もない命、何の理由もなくただそこにいたというだけで、追いかけられたあげく溺れ死んでしまったんだ。気を変えたりしないでブラバーベイに行ってれば、子鹿は死ななくてすんだのに。ごめんね、子鹿。言いようのない悲しみが胸を襲う。

命とは何と不公平なんだろう。同じようにこの世に生まれたかけがえのない命なのに、障害があるという理由で母親からも捨てられ、一人ぼっちで放っておかれ、カフカのような何の不自由もなく、食べ物もふんだんに与えられている贅沢な犬に、何の理由もなく追いかけられる。どんなに怖かったことだろう。

ごめんね、子鹿。

Author: Haruyo Abramson

I'm a musician, mom, and grandma, living in BC, Canada with my husband and three dogs.

One thought on “Unexpected  予期しなかったこと

  1. Gee, Haruyo, I hardly know what to say about this. You have written a beautiful reflection on this Unexpected event. Thank you for sharing this, and for your prayers for the deer, and the way you and Neil acted so swiftly with your dogs.

    Have you considered being a full-time writer? I really love your postings and read them top to bottom.

    With gratitude, Ginger

    From: pocoapocowithsmile Reply-To: pocoapocowithsmile Date: Monday, September 26, 2016 at 12:23 AM To: User Subject: [New post] Unexpected 予期しなかったこと

    WordPress.com Haruyo Abramson posted: “It was unexpected. A week into our stay on Texada Island, when we were enjoying our freedom and peace, it suddenly happened. Well, actually, when I think of it, there was some weird uneasiness that afternoon…. Neil and I set out to walk Kafka (a bigg”

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